Do you ever wonder if you’ve been snoozing with Rip Van Winkle in Sleepy Hollow? That’s the way I felt after turning to pages 14 and 15 in the latest edition of Forbes magazine. Scanning the “Celebrity 100 Most Powerful Stars,” I had to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I wondered: “Who are these people?”
I guess that’s what I get for not watching TV or studying the grocery-store-check-out-line tabloids. But in scanning two pages in the business/financial magazine, I was surprised how uniformed—make that ignorant—I was about the celebrity world.
Who’s J.J. Abrams?
He made $28 million last year as a film/TV producer.
Gordon Ramsay?
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| Pharrell Williams |
Gordon pulled in $47 million as a chef and reality TV star, among other things.
Avicii?
The Swedish music newcomer needs just one name to make $28 million.
Pharrell Williams?
I didn’t have a clue, until I read Pharrell made $22 million singing and songwriting.
One Direction?
Hmmmm. I guessed they sang. I was lucky, but the English-Irish pop boy band members are luckier with $75 million in their pockets.
Zooey Deschanel?
Uhhh, I was stumped—again. Poor Zooey reported only $6 million as an actress, musician and singer/songwriter.
Bryan Cranston?
He’s in Zooey’s earnings league, cashing in $7 million as an actor in things like Breaking Bad. Sorry, Bryan, my bad.
Seth MacFarlane?
Well, he made five times—$35 million—more than Bryan while singing, acting and making people laugh.
Michael Bay?
He had a good year—$66 million. But I didn’t realize this film director/producer brought us Pearl Harbor and the Transformers series.
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| Peter Jackson |
Peter Jackson?
Peter pocketed—before taxes—a cool $50 million for directing films like The Lord of the Rings. “Hobbit” I not know that?
Floyd Merriweather?
Oh, I know. I’m just checking to see if you’re still with me. The hard-punching boxer was the highest paid athlete, knocking down $105 million.
Cristiano Ronaldo?
If I’ve read about Cristiano in Sports Illustrated, I have forgotten. Still, the famous Portuguese footballer kicked $80 million into his wallet.
Lena Dunham?
Guess I missed her in the film credits. Sorry, Lena. You barely made the list with a $3.5 million paycheck for acting, writing and being a comedian.
Kaley Cuoco?
Ditto for Kaley. I had to scratch my head on this one, too. But $11 million got Kaley—aka Penny on The Big Bang Theory— to flash a smirk smile for Forbes.
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| Divergent series by Veronica Roth |
Veronica Roth?
In an off year, I read only 50 books. But I’ve yet to turn the pages of this $17 million-a-year
novelist’s works.
Kerry Washington?
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| Kerry Washington |
Maybe it’s scandalous that I didn’t know this $6 million star of TV’s Scandal.
Kim Kardashian?
Yes, I know. I’m ashamed to admit it. Her family’s name is everywhere. Their fame puzzles me, but Kim has 27 million—as in dollars—reasons to not care about what I think.
Calvin Harris?
You probably know, but I didn’t. The Scottish DJ, singer/songwriter and producer got by on $66 million.
Mark Burnett?
Gee, I am kind of embarrassed to be so dumb when it comes to who’s producing TV shows like The Apprentice, Survivor and The Voice. Mark doesn’t mind. He’s surviving on last year’s $86 million.
John Green?
How can a voracious reader like me not know this author? John shrugs. He’s too busy counting his $9 million.
Dr. Dre?
I had forgotten. He’s the guy who sold his Beats headphone business to Apple for $3 billion. That allowed him to set a celebrity record, making $620 million in 2013. Sonny and Cher sang: “And the beat goes on.” I bet some of you are wondering: “Who are Sonny and Cher?”
OK. I’ve bared my ignorance. It’s time to go back to zzzzzzzzzz.
